Identity Over Image

Redefining real estate's personal brand crisis

You don’t have to be someone you aren’t

The realtor community has gotten branding wrong for so long. We’ve come to think brand means self-promotion. It doesn’t. Your brand is what other people experience when they’re on the other side of you. Their interpretation of you.

As Marty Neumire says, “Your brand isn’t what you say it is. It’s what they say it is.”

So, how do we reconcile brand in real estate?

It’s a paradox, really: The realtor "brand" is at an all-time low, yet people love their individual realtors. Why this disconnect? Because our industry has fundamentally misunderstood what building a professional reputation means - we've prioritized image over identity.

We carefully curate our realtor image, but fail to tell anyone the value we provide consumers.

An “image over identity” approach isn't just ineffective - it's actively harmful.

Nobody can tell us apart.

Why should we hire you versus anyone else?

While I’ve only been asked this once in 21 years, I rehearse my answer because it helps keep me sharp (as an aside, reducing my professional fee is not a part of this answer - ever).

What’s your answer?

If a consumer can’t tell us apart and is no better off after digesting whatever we deliver, we aren’t an asset; we’re an annoying advertisement.

Adam Grant explains¹, "Personal branding (as most know it) is fundamentally a performance. It's about appearing a certain way, not being a certain way."

This performative approach leads to three critical problems:

- It makes agents appear self-absorbed and inauthentic

- It creates doubt when everything is too carefully curated

- It can signal insecurity through constant self-promotion

The path forward isn't about abandoning marketing - it's about transforming how we approach it. “Look at me succeeding,” should be “here’s how I can help you succeed.” Debbie Milman describes this approach as, "Share what you offer, what you contribute."

In other words, what do you contribute to someone’s buying or selling journey?

Real estate professionals need to focus on idea promotion, not self-promotion.

Which idea you promote depends on your identity.

How do your inherent traits help guide others?

That’s identity-based brand work, which focuses on identifying how you help the consumer.

Not image-based. That’s when the focus is on the agent.

Identity shines through an authentic demonstration of your core (real) strengths. If you're analytically minded, share meaningful market data in a way that helps buyers make calm decisions well ahead of time. If your strength is emotional intelligence and connection, explain why community matters. For those with vision and creativity, show them their potential for building a better life through real estate.

The key is to let your natural traits and abilities create value for clients. Don't just tell people you're detail-oriented - show it. Don't claim to be community-focused - display it (not as a humble brag - but as a humble servant.) And most importantly, tell them why any of it should matter to them.

How does what you said, sent, shared, or hosted help them?

Every marketing piece should demonstrate what it will be like to work with you. What kinds of things would a client hear you say? Give them a taste of what it would be like to have you on their team.

This authentic approach stands in stark contrast to the typical highlight reel of sold signs and staged head shots.

The future of real estate isn't in “creating” a personal brand - it's in demonstrating the authentic identity-based value in a way that helps others.

It’s about placing identity over image.

When we stop trying to manufacture an image and start showing up as ourselves, we'll not only improve our industry's reputation but also build genuine connections with the clients we serve.

Keep it real out there - your clients will love you for it.

1. Adam’s recent ReThinking episode titled “The case against personal branding” is worth listening to. I 100% agree with him and his guests. Debbie Milman said, “A personal brand is an oxymoron. When someone tries to create a personal brand, they’re manufacturing an impersonal perception…when we position ourselves as a brand, we’re essentially forcing ourselves to project an image of what we believe most people will admire or “buy into.” If someone wants to risk presenting themselves as a manufactured entity, then they run the risk of creating a level of perception that’s impossible to maintain.” Preach, Debbie. Preach. Brand for realtors does not mean creating a “manufactured image.” It’s about claiming your inherent value and demonstrating how that helps someone buy or sell better.